Whether you're fifteen or fifty, there's nothing quite like a first date. The excitement. The jitters. The potential for romance... And the potential for some big mistakes. If you're hoping date #1 might lead to date #2, here are a few things Foxy thinks you should avoid...
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- A Spiritual and Romantic Quest (New York Times)
Fakin' It... Why invite a guy to a ball game if you hate it? Or ask a girl to a Bergman festival, when you love bad brutes and big guns? It's great to try new things, but it's most important to be yourself. Faking it can backfire by making you seem false, flighty, or even desperate -- and no one wants to date that.
Some Like It Loud... Screamin', smashin' rock concerts have their own charm, but not for a first date. You'll spend the evening nodding nervously at one another and trying to keep good rhythm, while the deafening music rages on. The same goes for loud bars or restaurants -- who wants to shout all night long while you're trying to get to know each other?
Primpin' Like the Prom... Getting dolled up in a stiff suit-and-tie or frilly dress isn't the way to go on a first date. It's likely to make your date feel like they're seventeen again and headed to the gymnasium for some pink punch and slow-dancing. There are plenty of ways to look nice without looking overdone. Guys, opt for a crisp pair of khakis or cords and a button-down shirt. Gals, slip on some wide-leg slacks and a feminine blouse... or a casual skirt and sweater. No corsage required!
Friends ‘n' Family... There is much to be said for the power of pairs. In the beginning, it's best to keep it to the two of you. Bringing over-zealous friends and over-protective relatives into the mix is a lot to hit a person with on the first date. Start slow and get to know one another first.
Five-Star Fancy or Carelessly Casual... Avoid either. Fancy first dates can be a huge mistake. Pricey restaurants often feel fussy and put undue pressure on your wallet and your evening. If your date does treat you to dinner at a pricier place, don't order the most expensive thing on the menu -- that lobster with truffle champagne sauce is definitely a deal-breaker! If you end up going low-key, you should still steer clear of cheap chain restaurants and other overly casual joints. Be thoughtful! Try a fun picnic in the park or even an evening of bowling? Good, cheap fun is oh so romantic!
Bed-Lam... If you both like each other, there will be plenty of time for canoodling, caressing, and luxurious mornings lounging in bed. Don't rush it. Let the first date be informal and comfortable, by setting aside the stress of, you know... (S-E-X).
Getting Snippy... A first date isn't the time to give your locks a major snip, change your hair color, or do anything else drastic (like try out a pair of ultra high heels you can't walk in). You want to feel your most relaxed and comfortable, so save the experimentation for another time.
Now, Back to Me... Info-swapping is one of the centerpieces of your date. What music you like, how much you hate eggplant, whether you're a cat or dog person, and so on. But if you spend the whole time blabbing about yourself without giving your date equal talking time, you're nothing but a buzzkill.
Smells Like Desperation... People can smell a desperate singleton a mile away, so avoid punctuating dinner with not-so-subtle comments like, "My mother would love you!" Or ending the evening with, "So, do you want to go out again? Maybe on Wednesday? At six?"
Return to Sender... Texting, whether you love it or hate it, don't do it! Even if your date is in the restroom. Even if you think you can sneak it under the table where no one will notice. Your date will not LOL, so put that thing away -- G2G!
Contingency Plans... There's no telling how a first date will go. Sometimes, smooth sailing. Sometimes, painful from beginning to end. Which is why humans invented emergency "outs." The problem is, contingency plans are way too obvious and offensive to your date. If you're concerned about how the date will go, don't have your "friend" call you with an "emergency" halfway through dinner, stick with something quick like coffee, snacks, or ice cream.
And Now for the Big Goodbye... If all goes well on a first date, you may end the outing with a little kiss. If you find yourself freaking out about it way before the date is even over, know that a hearty hug can send the same message. If you do go for the lips, make sure your mouth is minty fresh.
- Check out these 5 Fun Ways to Land a Date.
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